Beginnings

It was around 1980 or 81 and I was recently married for the first time. So it had to be between June 6 1980 and May 5 1981. I was working in a grocery warehouse and paying my way through college. I don’t know how but my wife had convinced me to marry her and her dad paid for an elaborate wedding. I now forget where she worked but it was an office setting and I think she was actually a supervisor type. I won’t name her name as I’ve seen her once since our divorce which happened in Sept 81. And she obviously has no desire to talk to me and the feeling is mutual.

The whole point of the story I’m about to tell is to define a moment of realization and revelation that had a lifetime of implication. It is the reason I am affiliated with no group that I have meetings with and why I understand prejudice and random violence for what it is. It is why I detest groups who hate other groups because of their group affiliation and the fact that the hater has no idea of the individuals involved in the group.

I went to school during the day and worked at the warehouse from three in the afternoon to midnight. One night after working I was siting in my living room watching TV before going to bed. I was renting a house on a dead end street that was very quiet and sort of rural with my new wife. My land lord who lived across the street was a stocky guy with close cropped hair who I had little interaction with because I’d leave the rent check in his mail box and there was really no reason for us to talk unless we saw each other in the street for some reason, which was a rarity.

I was 23 when I got married so I couldn’t have been more than 24 at the time of the incident and I was still in college because I was determined to get a bachelors degree and I was in my sixth or seventh year of trying due to trying to live a life and go to school at the same time. I still can’t believe I was stupid enough to get married at the time. Like I said it was the early eighties and just coming out of the seventies where I was influenced by Kung Fu and Star Wars and the rock bands and the hippies and all that was going on at the time. I graduated High School in 1974 and was cognizant of the Vietnam War but I guess was anti-war because it seemed there was no sense to it. At the time I didn’t exercise but led an outdoor kind of life with hiking and swimming and such in the hills of Tennessee. And as I said I was enamoured with Kung Fu due to Bruce Lee Movies and David Carradine’s TV Show.

There was a knock at the door, which had a window at the top that I had to tip toe to look out and basically
all you could see was the top of someone’s head if they were tall enough to see at all. As I looked out all I could see was the top of a head that looked like my land lord and I thought there must be a problem that he needed help with so I opened the door. When I did some guy I had never seen before took a swing at me and the fight was on. At the time I weighed 150 soaking wet and the unknown assailant was around 200 at my estimate. The fight was an exchange of blows and went to the ground with him on top. I managed to reverse and get up as he was still on his knees. The only punch that I remember was one to his temple that I hoped would knock him out but didn’t. It stunned him enough to give him second thoughts about what he
had done though and he tackled me on to the couch. I had a fish tank at the time and much of the standup fight was trying to keep us away from the tank so as not to destroy it. When he tackled me to the couch I was able to get a partial guillotine choke on him although at the time I had no idea that it was called that. We exchanged a few words and since we were in a stalemate he said he gave up. Since I'm writing this 29 years later I don'’ remember the exact words but he keep his part of the bargain and was about to exit my front door when the wife put her hand on it and told him he couldn’t leave and had to wait for the police whom she had called at my behest during the fight. I told her that he was leaving and to get out of the way and let him do so.

I have no idea what she said when she talked to the police or even if we had 911 back in those days but it took between 45 minutes and an hour for the police to respond. In the mean time I discovered from my wife that the guy was the boyfriend of one of her co-workers who had taken offense at something she had said to her co-worker and being the gentleman he was he decided he’d beat me up because he couldn’t take his revenge out on a girl. I have to give him credit for the last part. To this day I don’t know his name although I’m sure I heard it and I don’t know who his girlfriend was either. I was later gratified to find out that he had two black eyes and big fat lips afterward. I had what I thought were cracked ribs but my face was unscathed. Who got the short end of the stick; I don’t know.

When the cop finally got there he told me that if I wanted to press charges that I would have to go to the courthouse or some such deal and fill out a complaint. That may have been the protocol of the day but if it had been where I live now the guy would have been charged at a minimum with battery and possibly burglary with battery. I was not pleased with that and it changed my life. I was wronged and physically attacked with intent to do bodily harm. I think it was providence more than luck that I came out of the ordeal in as good a shape as I did. There were many results from this one incident that have shaped my life since then. In fact I can say I am where I am today because of this pivotal happening.